Fairy Tale Land
Not all fairy tales are what we think them to be. For instance, Snow White is not the sweet helpless princess she has portrayed to be. Allow me to shed a little light on what Snow White really is. Please understand I am not yet ready to reveal what happened between us that caused me to hate her so. In due time my dear, in due time.
For now, I will tell you an interesting story of how Snow White met Charming. I will bet you would have never imagined, for instance, he was already engaged to someone else! I will bet you would have never even thought of such a thing. Oh, yes! His fiancée was a very beautiful princess with golden hair.
On their first encounter, Charming was traveling in a carriage with her. They came to a stop because of a tree conveniently blocking the road. Charming and his men went to investigate and as soon as they were gone, a bandit robbed the carriage. Charming would catch up with the thief, which revealed to be none other than Snow White.
Snow White used a rock to hit Charming and escapes with his pouch. She then proceeds to take off with his horse. Lovely girl she is… He calls out to her that he will find her. For whatever sick reason she finds this amusing, however, I am not surprised.
Later Charming catches Snow White who walks into a trap he literally has left for her. She finds herself in a net hanging from a tree. He tells her he wants his pouch of jewels back. A ring in had once belonged to his mother.
He knows she is Snow White, and that I have offered a reward for her capture. He makes a deal with her that if she helps him recover his ring he will not turn her over to me. They set off to find the ring. He asks her about a vial of dust she wears as necklace and she eludes his question.
He snatches it off her neck and she warns him the vial contains a weapon. They continue and she starts telling him that I have made up all these lies about her and she only steals because she is trying to escape to a place where she can be safe from me. He asks her what happened between us and if she really did ruin my life. Without much hesitation, she admits that she did.
Well, at least she can admit that much.
The next game Snow White plays is to tell Charming she is thirsty. He falls for it and she uses this opportunity to hit him on the head, with a branch as her weapon of choice for this round, so she may escape. She ends up running into a few of my knights who had been searching for her. They capture her and tell her that they will be cutting her heart out to bring home to me. Too bad, they did not do it right on the spot.
As Snow White is so close to meeting her demise Charming shows up to save the day. She is surprised he helped her, but after all, he is Prince Charming, which is only a nickname by the way. She admits to him some trolls purchased his jewels and agrees to take him there.
Snow White and Charming go the bridge where the trolls stay. The trolls have figured out that she is Snow White and are very interested in my reward that is out there. They attempt to kill Snow White and Charming but she saves them. She uses the fairy dust in the necklace to turn the trolls into insects. Charming reveals to her that his name is James.
They are now set to part ways. She tells Prince Charming good-bye and he reminds her to call him James. She coyly tells him she likes calling him Prince Charming. After this peculiar flirting ends they go separate ways they both turn at different moments to stare after the other one. The whole thing nauseated me.
Mary Margaret is on a date with Dr. Whale and she is not enjoying herself. He seems a little distracted by Ruby the scantily clad waitress who has a thing for red and a strange fascination with wolves. She cuts the date short by asking Ruby to bring the check. When she leaves, she sees Emma and offers her to stay with her. Emma declines, as she seems to prefer living out of her car then having a roommate. I am still gloating over Mary Margaret’s date eyeballing Little Red Hood.
The next day Henry asks Mary Margaret if she knows John Doe the coma patient. She does not but Henry recognizes Prince Charming.
Henry turns to Emma. He tells her that John Doe is not only Prince Charming but also her father. He explains that they must have Mary Margaret read to him. Emma tells Henry she will help him but he must leave it to her. Emma tells Mary Margaret what Henry believes which they both think is crazy. Emma tells her to play along. They hope by nothing happening Henry will realize this is not a fairy tale.
Mary Margaret goes to see coma patient John Doe. She spends quite some time reading to him. She is stunned when he grabs her hand. Dr. Whale who happens to work at the hospital comes in and she tells him. He tells her she may have fallen asleep and it did not really happen. After she goes home, I get a call from the good doctor. He reports to me how John Doe grabbed Mary Margaret’s hand and that there were changes in his brain activity. This is not good. At least now, I know what they are up to.
Mary Margaret tells both Emma and Henry what happened at the hospital. They go back there and are surprised to see Sheriff Graham with me in John Doe’s room. Graham tells them John Doe has disappeared. I explain that I am John Doe’s emergency contact not caring if it makes sense or not. I tell Henry he has been lying to me. The doctor brings us back to John Doe and how we need to find him. I send Graham.
After viewing security tapes it is discovered that John Doe woke up and left out the door leading to the woods. Henry tells Mary Margaret that he must be looking for her. In the woods Graham finds John Doe’s bloody hospital band. They do find John Doe by a stream. He tells Mary Margaret he saved her but he has no memory of who he is.
They come back to the hospital. I have another trick up my sleeve. Do you remember the lovely fiancée with hair of gold I told you that Charming once had? Well, here she is at the hospital. She arrives to claim John Doe and call him David. I triumphantly tell them this woman is his wife.
I tell everyone that this is his wife Kathryn and his name is actually David Nolan. Kathryn explains that they had separated years ago when they were not getting along. She had assumed he left town. Dr. Whale declares there is no explanation why David Nolan woke up and it is a miracle. Henry tells Mary Margaret that he was going to the troll bridge to look for her and that they belong together. Mary Margaret is sad.
Well, that was a narrow escape but I managed to get some sort of control over the situation. Emma does not let up. She stops me from leaving to waste my time with stupid questions. She is suspicious because no one ever came looking for John Doe or David Nolan. I quickly come up with a response. I tell her on the security tape he was asking for Kathryn in his sleep. I do not care if this makes sense or not. I rub it in further by telling her how grateful I am to have Henry and how being alone with no one is a curse.
Meanwhile, Kathryn hugs David while Mary Margaret watches. He stares at Mary Margaret and they both feel their connection. It does not matter because now he is with Kathryn. Mary Margaret has his mother’s ring and plays with it. Later that night while she is in her house still toying with her ring thinking about everything that happened that day Emma shows up. Emma wants to move in after all.
Things can never be easy…
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